Sr Lilias - Courageous

We have a probable picture of Sr Lilias. One of a group of Sisters taken in the 1890s, they are named on the back of the photo. One is labelled ‘Sr Lilias?’, if I remember rightly. A more recent Sister has written next to it something along the following lines: ‘yes – she left – look at her face’.

Born in Cleethorpes, Lincolnshire in 1858, Lilias Dickenson was professed as a choir Sister in 1884. In 1896, the year after the Convent Chapel was dedicated, there is an appeal in the magazine we published at the time. The invalid Sisters hoped to raise money for the Choir in the Chapel, and orders were to be sent to Sr Lilias. They knitted, made dolls and baby clothes, socks, stockings and knick-knacks. Later, cards were added to the list. In 1897, there was an appeal for scraps of cloth, ribbon, velvet or silk for two invalid Sisters to use to be made into fancy items for sale. This was repeated in the two following years. There is no evidence as to who these two invalid Sisters were; it is possible that Sr Lilias was one of them, but it is equally possible that she was responsible for the orders, not one of the invalids themselves. Although it is interesting that in the picture we have of her, she is one of only two Sisters sitting down, which may imply some health issues. This is really all we know about her work in the Community. In 1881, she is registered at the Community House, but she had not yet joined the Community, and was a visitor; no occupation is given. In 1891, she is a boarder at St Lucy’s Home, in Gloucester. This was run by another Community, and the census includes some patients, four children and many industrial girls (girls in training for service). Sr Lilias is last on the list, implying that she was a visitor, or staying temporarily. There were 12 other Sisters of Mercy there, who would have been members of the Community running the home. Everyone on the list is down as a boarder, except for the Superior. This is interesting. Was she staying for some time away, or was she thinking of transferring to another Community? I do not know how likely the latter was; in any case, she did not go there, but returned to All Hallows, until she left in 1899.

I cannot find anything else about her that I would state as definite, but I have found trace of someone that I am fairly sure is Lilias, both before and after her time in Community. If I am correct, this is the rest of her story, as far as I know it. Reverend Edward Newton Dickenson married Mary Dorothea Fitzgerald in August 1846. Mary Dorothea Dickenson was registered in Guernsey in 1861. Two of her children are with her: Clara Dickenson, aged 12, and Lilias Dickenson, aged 3. Both girls were born in England. This all fits: I have a birth record for Lilias Rose Dickenson, born in Lincolnshire in 1858, whose mother’s maiden name was Fitzgerald. Mary C. Dickenson married Maynard Willoughby Colchester Wemyss in 1871; she was the daughter of the Reverend Edward Newton Dickenson, and is presumably the Clara of the 1861 census. I have not found Lilias in 1871, and in 1881, she was at Ditchingham.

Lilias’ mother, Mary Dorothea Dickenson, died in Eastbourne in 1881; probate was granted to her son-in-law Maynard as sole executor. Edward then seems to have moved to Mitcheldean, Gloucester, where Maynard and his family were based; he died there in 1882, aged 64. He was formerly chaplain to HM forces in India. This latter fact may explain where he was in 1861, and I assume his wife and children may also have spent some time in India. After his death, Lilias Rose Dickenson was given £60 a year until her marriage. Whether this gave her the freedom to enter the Community of All Hallows, which is likely to have happened in 1881 or 1882, or whether it took place regardless of this, I do not know.

We know that Lilias spent most of the 1880s and 1890s in the Community; we know that she had left by the time of the 1901 census. However, I have been unable to find her in either 1901 or 1911. Lilias Rose Dickenson died on the 24th June 1915 in Bangalore, India; probate also went to Maynard, her brother-in-law. She left effects of £2178 0s 5d. As far as I am aware, there was at least one more sibling, Edward Stanley Newton Dickenson, who was in the army. The only other connection is that Lilias would have had family in, or near, Gloucester when she was there in 1891; this may have been the reason why she was staying there.

It all leaves many unanswered questions. Why did she go to India, and how long had she been there? I only know that she died there, which may have meant that she was working there, or she may have been there temporarily. What did she do in the Community, beyond aiding the invalid Sisters, assuming she was not one of them? How was her faith expressed in all this? Why did Sr Lilias leave the Community? Why did she join in the first place? It is impossible to know the answers for certain. The fact that she joined around the time her parents died means that her life may have become more uncertain; she may have had more independence, but also, if she was living with her parents, she may have faced a future living with her siblings, probably her sister and brother-in-law. This may not have felt attractive. Joining the Community might have seemed a better option. That is not to say that she did not feel a genuine call; our motives are often mixed, and do not exclude an honest seeking of God’s will. In Sr Lilias’ case, it seems that it was not the best decision or that her life moved on in ways that were at odds with her life in Community. She found the courage to ask to be released from her commitment to the Community, despite the difficulties and distress this would have involved. I hope she found some measure of peace in her later life.