Leaving Everything - Epiphany

They were sleeping, huddled together in a doorway, with no other place to go overnight. It was a good doorway: undercover, and big enough for a few of them, so they could keep each other warmer.  They ignored the light at first; they’d got used to sleeping with noise and light in the background. Often, groups of tipsy people would go past, singing loudly; sometimes, these groups would find it funny to laugh at those sleeping rough, occasionally even worse. The group stayed in the doorway, trying to avoid the light and stay away from being noticed. But this light was different, and the singing that came was lighter, ethereal. Certainly it didn’t come from anybody who had drunk too much. Cautiously, the group opened their eyes and peered out. The light was coming from nowhere and everywhere; in the midst of it were angels. They did not look like angels, but angels they certainly were. Speaking about it afterwards, the group agreed on that. They had to be real, although few in the group had any religious belief; but neither was it a group hallucination, should such things be possible. Suddenly, once they were all awake and looking, the singing grew quieter, and the lead angel started speaking: ‘Rejoice, for there is born today, in this town the saviour of all humanity! This shall be the sign: you will find the baby, in an empty garage, lying in an old drawer, filled with old clothing’. The singing swelled, before suddenly the angels were gone, and the group were left in darkness; well, as dark as it was likely to get in a town centre. They all knew that they had to go and look for this baby, and they knew where to go. Few in that town would, but these people, homeless, knew where all the empty spaces were to be found. They left, and went straight to the garage, where they found a young mother, with her older partner, caring for the baby, who was safe and snug in the drawer. Gifts they had little, but they made sure the couple were warm, and knew where to find food and medical help. The couple had family to go to, and would have a roof in the near future. But they were grateful for the group’s support, and always remembered them with thankfulness.

A few weeks later, when the couple and their new baby were safely housed, the family had more visitors. They came from the far east, having seen a star which proclaimed the child’s birth. They had come a long way, by difficult routes. Visas and other complications had delayed them, and there had been casual racism thrown at them as they searched for the baby. But at last they were here, and they too found a sense of peace in that place. They had brought gifts: some gold, frankincense and myrrh. Having seen, they then left for their long journey home, having understood something which many of the family’s neighbours had missed. Mary and Joseph knew their child was special, and were grateful for these visits for those on the outskirts of society, who had also seen and left all they had to come and find the child.

Of course, it did not happen quite like that. The shepherds were not homeless, and did have work, although I think they would have been among the lower strata of their society. The wise men would not have needed visas, and may or may not have experienced racism. While traditionally Jesus was born in a stable attached to an inn, I believe that it is now thought more likely that the family came to be with Joseph’s relations, but had to stay in the animal quarters rather than the living quarter of their house, due to the number of people there. But the visits of both the shepherds and the wise men would have been risky. I’ve often wondered exactly what the shepherds did with their sheep when they went to find Jesus. Did they bring them with them, which I can imagine would have made them both visible and unpopular; or did they leave them on the hillside, which would have been dangerous? The wise men left all they knew, to journey far, to seek a child, with no certainty as to the reception they might get. Both left much to find a baby whose work was still in the future. The wise men left actual gifts and the shepherds left Mary pondering their words in her heart. Both shepherds and wise men rejoiced at what they had seen. They knew they had seen far more than a new born child.

But what of us? What do we leave behind in our journey towards Jesus? and what do we give? How much do we rejoice in what we have received? Questions to ponder, and a new year seems an appropriate time to do that. Questions which the Christmas and Epiphany message encourage us to think about. What do we leave behind in our journey and, furthermore, what should we? Is there anything we are not yet ready to leave, and what does that suggest? We are not asked to leave everything: we need homes, clothes, incomes … Yet, at the same time, we are. We are asked to leave everything to follow Jesus and, while that may not involve physically giving up all we have, it is worth pondering in our hearts whether we would be willing to. Do we place Jesus first in our lives, or are we saying ‘yes, Lord, but only if …’.

Questions about how much we give and whether we rejoice in our Saviour’s coming are trickier questions. Pondering how much we give may involve too much pride or (falsely) suggest we have nothing to give; it might induce a feeling that activity is the only way we can give, which is also wrong. But in leaving everything, we are giving ourselves. What that giving that involves may be best left to God, who receives gifts in a way that I suspect might surprise us. And rejoicing? There are times in our lives when it is very difficult to rejoice, and when it would be inappropriate to pretend, while bearing in mind that rejoicing is not the same as being happy. But one of the best gifts we can give God might just be our honesty in who we are, and how we are feeling. God knows that, after all. We cannot physically leave everything to seek the child Jesus; we cannot leave Mary pondering our words, or leave gifts of gold and incense behind us. We can give ourselves, and maybe each Christmastide, the time is right for a pondering on our journey, and where we can best follow Jesus over the next year. A pondering that may well lead us into the Lenten season to follow.